Born in Michigan to a blonde, blue-eyed father and an olive skinned brown haired, brown-eyed mother, I ended up with dirty blonde hair, green eyes and freckles. Three of my four grandparents were blue eyed. I'm not sure where the green came from, but they’re a point of vanity. They make me feel special even though most people think of me as having blue eyes. The freckles used to be kind of cute, too. Now they’re viewed with suspicion. We have no history of skin cancer in the family, but my dermatologist isn't taking any chances.
Raised
in New York, we resided for a while by a lake and my father had a sailboat on
Long Island for years. There were the catastrophic sunburns in Florida- second-degree
burns that blistered and peeled. At seventeen I moved to Hollywood and spent my
fair share of time by the pool. When I moved to Mill Valley there was a slab if
concrete in the back yard that I dubbed the "sun pit". You get the
drift. That was before all the years at the girls' swim meets followed by the
tennis years. Suffice to say, if I never had another drop of sun on my
shoulders it wouldn't be too soon.
At a
recent visit to the skin doctor he looked at me and put it quite bluntly. He
said he could zap my face thirty times or I could have the blue light treatment.
No third option? I guess not. Eric has the same
dermatologist and he prescribed the same treatment for him. Forty years on
tennis courts and a South Florida childhood had come home to roost.
We
decided to have it done together. Double date. The first question the doctor
asked me was if I was ok with having a “vicious” reaction. Apparently, the
longer the chemical is left on before the light treatment, the deeper it goes
and the “better” the result. The medicine attaches to the pre-cancerous cells
and then they peel off. He suggested I might peel for ten days. Eric had gone
first so I said I’d do whatever he did. It was an hour and a half. In
retrospect, it’s a decision I regret.
After
Eric waited for his hour and a half, he spent seventeen minutes under the
ultra-violet light. I could tell it hurt by looking at him when he returned to
the waiting room. Then it was my turn. If you’ve ever had a lip wax you might
be able to imagine the pain. It’s like the ripping part for seventeen minutes.
Also like someone is stabbing your face continuously with tiny hot pokers.
Ouch!
Afterwards,
you scurry home under a hat and stay in the darkest room of your house for
forty-eight hours. We have a very light house. With six skylights, it's even
bright in the garage. Many of our windows are up high and have no shades. That
ruled out the master bedroom, bathroom and living room. We draped the kitchen
windows with towels and drop cloths. It was rainy when we went in for the
treatment, but four hours later it started to clear up on the way home.
That
was yesterday. I cannot express how miserable I am today. Red, itchy, blistery,
scaly face with out of control swelling. Pain like the worst sunburn I’ve ever
had, along with that chilled feeling. It’s a glorious spring day and miserable
to have to stay inside the whole time, but it’s probably just as well. I could
scare children if I’m seen in public now. Eric is having some itching but he
looks practically normal.
Now
that I’ve finished all 775 pages of Donna Tartt’s “The Goldfinch”, I’m at a
loss. Agitated, bored and grumpy. As unpleasant (medical euphemism) as this is,
I know it’s the right thing to do. I need to get the bad guys off my face. It
will heal and I’ll forget about how awful it was until I go back for treatment
number two. In five weeks.
The kitchen looks like an encampment. |
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