Three First Names

I don't know about the rest of you, but Hurricane Irene has thoroughly exhausted me. There was the build up for days, then the non-stop pre-game show and like so many Superbowls that have come before, it ended up being a bit of a letdown. That's easy for me to say, being three thousand miles away, but frankly it just didn't live up to the hype. 

On Tuesday Allie was scheduled to fly back to Connecticut on a redeye. I was watching the coverage of the uprising in Tripoli when the breaking news of the Virginia earthquake cut in. Wow. How exciting and unexpected. And those cell phones being dead for twenty minutes. What's that all about? In California we're a little dismissive of quakes in other places, but I'm sure it was very scary.   

The airport delays in the East were temporary and Allie flew out on schedule. I explained that a hurricane would be arriving on Saturday so she needed to be prepared. Saturday afternoon she told me she and her roommates were at the store and there were no more batteries. Well, duh. We crossed our fingers the power wouldn't go out. 

Although Saturday was a  beautiful day here and I needed to be outside playing lots of tennis, I checked the news every chance I had. Those windblown reporters standing on the beach in their hooded jackets were hilarious. Kids, don't try this at home. During dinner Saturday night we watched Mayor Bloomberg give his press conference. I love him. He's so New York and straight shooting. One of the questions was about whether all the people who live in the subways had been taken to safety. Bloomberg says that first of all, people shouldn't be living in subways and that they would get the services they deserved.

Sunday was another very pretty day and we had to play lots more tennis. I sent messages to several people and they were doing fine. Of course, Allie has no power and Sally in New Jersey has no water. I carefully read over the list of deaths caused by the Cat Five downgraded to Cat One downgraded to Tropical Storm. Falling trees seem to be a major hazard in a hurricane. The advice about staying home really made some sense. One poor woman drowned in her car and many other had trees fall on their cars. There was so much warning. Why were they going anywhere? 

I'm not too fond of earthquakes, but at least there IS no warning. You dread them in a low grade, ongoing way. All the time. Whenever I'm in a tunnel or a tall building I think about earthquakes. There's a certain type of quiet anxiety, but we don't find out on a Tuesday that there will be an epic quake on Saturday. Now that would really be scary.      

So East Coast, settle down there. You're starting to fray my nerves. Also, we've had our own excitement recently. Our local universe was gridlocked and traffic ground to a halt when a guy fired a shot towards the freeway. Holed up in a hotel with his girlfriend as a hostage and plenty of ammo, this dead bang loser inconvenienced thousands. The hotel was evacuated, local businesses were affected and the freeway was shut down. We're talking epic traffic jams, like when the Bay Bridge was closed after the earthquake in 1989. 

After an extended standoff, the suspect was found dead, his girlfriend unharmed. How could such a freak even have a girlfriend? He was on the lam from being on the lam. Most recently sought for shoplifting and stabbing grocery store clerks, the guy had a lethal record. At thirty-eight, he'd been incarcerated in multiple locations. I told Allie I don't want her to ever go out with a guy like this. She promised to avoid men with guns. That's a relief. 

The man's name was released and it confirms my long held theory. I'm not sure why, but I've noticed that men with three first names often have a propensity for violent crime. This guy's name was Peter James Thomas. Like Brian David Mitchell (Elizabeth Smart's abductor), Richard Allen Davis (kidnapped and killed Polly Klaas) and James Earl Ray, he didn't have a chance. And Sirhan Sirhan. Is that two first names or two last names?  And what about Jack Ruby? Ruby is a first name and it's definitely not a man's name.        

There have been studies done that indicate a guy with an unusual first name is more likely to be part of the juvenile justice system. In 2009 Time magazine online published an interesting piece by John McCloud. He concluded that parents with less schooling were more likely to give their kids unusual names. Also, guys with common names like Michael or David are more likely to be successful. 

McCloud also gave an interesting fact about girl names. Women who don't finish high school rarely name their daughters Allison. It's reserved for offspring of women with seventeen or more years of education. I have a daughter named Allison, but how many years of education do I have? Hmm. Seventeen sounds like a lot. Counting on my fingers and including kindergarten and college, yes, I qualify. Her name can stand. I haven't read any studies that confirm my three first name theory, but guys, don't take any chances. You can't help it if your surname is say, Mason or Gordon, but if you have a son, be sensible. Give him a strong middle name like a family name. Or maybe Irene.